So there has been quite a bit of hoo-ha the last couple of days over an article published yesterday by Antonia Senior at The Times Online titled: ‘Why women are such bad networkers‘.
Apart from the fact that this has opened us some interesting debate particularly in the women’s networking circles, it seems that headline of the (original) article has confused the issue from the offset.
Are we talking about the aggressive tactics of corporate ladder climbing or women’s inability to network? The headline suggests the latter however the content covers networking in the broader sense. In my humble opinion the article merges two very separate issues into one.
Sadly we can’t argue the stats that so few women reach the top of the world’s largest corporations, but that is a debate on women and the glass ceiling and not on networking. I don’t profess to be an expert in this area, however as this comment thread highlights, it is a sensitive issue and there is still much work to be done in terms of finding the right balance.
My definition of networking however is creating connections with people to build long term relationships for mutual benefit and success. There is no argument whatsoever that women are naturally excellent at this, in the social and business sense. Women that have never heard of the term networking do it brilliantly without even realising it.
We may not (as a general rule) be as good at blowing our own trumpets as our male counterparts but we make up for it by being fantastic at raising each others profiles, providing support and inspiration (and being open to it) and collaborating. This is a clear example of how as women, we can be outstandingly successful by leveraging our strengths rather than trying to emulate the competitive techniques that work better for men.
I agree that some women are not comfortable in the testosterone driven male dominated networking world. That said, neither are some men. I don’t lack confidence but I do need to be in the right environment. There are a number of different networking platforms – informal, structured, social both online and offline. Everybody will have a different style of networking that suits their personality and regardless of your gender; one of the important factors for networking success is to attend the right networking events.
Ideally this should be with a group of likeminded people, where you feel comfortable and you can be yourself. When we are authentic it is easy and fun to build relationships that have integrity and therefore long term value. Make sure you have a well thought out strategy, follow through with disciplined execution and have a genuine desire to help others.
And yes networking can also be about asking for what you want from others, but first you have to earn the right to ask for it by proving your ability to deliver.
Most importantly networking should be fun. If you aren’t enjoying your networking activities AND getting fantastic results – then talk to me 
Here are 10 of my top tips for networking success:
1. Listen, be sincere and responsive (strong eye contact and open body language puts people at ease)
2. A warm smile and a firm handshake go a long way (remember first impressions count for a lot)
3. Focus intensely (there is nothing worse than talking to someone while they look around to see if there is someone better they should be/could be talking to)
4. Show confidence (I believe this comes with being authentic and being in the right environment)
5. Have conviction in your own expertise – but don’t bullshit (if you aren’t convinced that you know what you are talking about, why should anyone else!)
6. Think about long term connections not short term gains (consider at least one thing you could do to help each person, this is a skill that develops with time)
7. Pay attention, have genuine interest and an open mind (we all need tone willing to learn something new)
8. Set goals and create a strategy to reach them – they do not have to be selfish ones! (otherwise it’s not networking it’s just chatting)
9. Follow up – but not just for the sake of it (please don’t clog up my mailbox to tell me the same thing you told me when we met, unless I have asked you to)
10. Authenticity is the best networking virtue – be yourself, relax and have fun (if you aren’t being genuine it will show and if you aren’t having fun, you aren’t doing it right)
I welcome your comments.
